Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
