Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
