Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
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