don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Of course I have a pirate flag
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
