Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Anal astronaut?

(847): View more from Illinois

Wow word travels fast.

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(732): Anal astronaut? (847): Wow word travels fast. http://tfl.nu/to7g

Replies (2) Good night (2320) Bad night (650)
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(847): View more from Illinois

so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?

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(847): so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend? http://tfl.nu/ywt9

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.

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(508): All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed. http://tfl.nu/eckq

Replies (22) Good night (7167) Bad night (974)
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(804): View more from Virginia

she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.

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(804): she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off. http://tfl.nu/ypig

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(305): View more from Florida

what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose

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(305): what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose http://tfl.nu/99kl

Replies (9) Good night (1294) Bad night (3853) Order T-Shirt
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(361): View more from Texas

I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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(361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c

Replies (17) Good night (3219) Bad night (1723) Order T-Shirt
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(512): View more from Texas

Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.

(512): View more from Texas

Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.

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(512): Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college. (512): Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good. http://tfl.nu/chyc

Replies (9) Good night (1412) Bad night (850)
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(+61): View more from Australia

We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.

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(+61): We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia. http://tfl.nu/ry0s

Replies (2) Good night (2069) Bad night (491)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.

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(615): Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place. http://tfl.nu/527t

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(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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(501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i

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(541): View more from Oregon

Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.

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(541): Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet. http://tfl.nu/2bxm

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(778): View more from British Columbia

He should be castrated

(604): View more from British Columbia

Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons

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(778): He should be castrated (604): Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons http://tfl.nu/5v9r

Replies (6) Good night (436) Bad night (795)
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(540): View more from Virginia

Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".

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(540): Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!". http://tfl.nu/uep9

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(561): View more from Florida

I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.

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(561): I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution. http://tfl.nu/nib7

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.

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(931): Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close. http://tfl.nu/0xt0

Replies (3) Good night (672) Bad night (501) Order T-Shirt

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