I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?