he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We have started to decorate penises.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...