Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
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Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.