Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Just invented taco cereal.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail