:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.