See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy