There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
At a point I was just cumming dust last night