How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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