how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
