I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize