he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
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