So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
