Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
This baby is an asshole
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize