who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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