how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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