Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
