I got chris browned last night
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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