That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
