All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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