We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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