i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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