My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize