I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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