i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
this hospital has no fireball
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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