What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
