A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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