Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
