So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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