That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
