Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
