Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
