I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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