I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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