And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
