He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
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Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
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he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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