doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
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