i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
This baby is an asshole
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize