Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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