I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
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I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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