Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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