I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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