Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
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