I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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