so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
