Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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