Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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