I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO