32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
make that 40.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies