NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
honey bunches of taint.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
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You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.