He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."