i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
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