Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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