Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I need a beard to bite.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
