I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
