whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
