he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
