Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
