Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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