I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
