as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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