Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
