Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
