Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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