i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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