He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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