I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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