just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
